Read a tweet today (mediaphyter) that noted how people limit the potential of social media by defining what it isn’t.  In truth, the tendency to begin with the negative is a bad habit too-common in how people speak.  When you ask people what they’re good at, you often hear, “Well, I’m terrible at tennis, (or public speaking, or math, or meeting new people,) but people tell me I’m pretty good at…”  Or, when you ask how their day is going, you might hear, “Well, I haven’t accomplished half of what I needed to…”  

My grandmother, who is remembered for her many wonderful quirks, ingrained in my sisters and me a universal positive response to the question, “How are you?”   Even now, many (many) years later, I still respond, “Fine, thank you, and you?”  She told us that no one wanted to hear you complain, people weren’t really looking for a long and whiny response, and that (and with this point she was brilliant), people are drawn to positive people!    

Of course there was that one boyfriend, twenty years ago, who ended our relationship because I was too happy.  But who wanted to be around him anyway.  I prefer to surround myself with people who are proud, optimistic and appreciative of all the wonderful things in their lives.   Not nauseatingly Pollyanna, but inclined to smile not scowl.   Open to the possibilities, new discoveries, adventures and learning.   

So, grandma was right.  Beginning with the negative, or defensive, or self-deprecating remark diminishes the perception of you as a confident person.  Making the conscious choice to be positive — and to use positive communication —  is more inspiring, motivating and empowering!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 25th, 2009 at 1:51 pm and is filed under Communication Skill, Inspiration. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.